Wednesday, May 25, 2016

Thoughts about adoption by an adoptee

This is a very different kind of post than I usually do. Recently, I asked an adoptive mom what she would like to know about adoption from the view of an adoptee. There were three main topics that she asked me about. Belonging in a family, embracing the birth culture, and information about the past are the broad topics that I will discuss today. I am not claiming to be an expert but I think it is important to hear from the adoptee’s view. My opinions do not represent all adoptees but I hope that my opinions can help adoptive parents.

Belonging in a family.

     This is a very important aspect to consider in adoptive family. Sometimes it can be hard for an adoptive child to feel a part of a family. Some children will have these feelings at various ages. It will depend on the child and their circumstances. My parents always told me that they loved me like their birth children. They don’t always point out that I am adopted daughter. They call me their daughter.  This is important to note. I believe this can help a child feel a part of their family. This can give a child a sense of being like the other children.

    My parents have told me how much work they went through to adopt me. This shows me that they loved me. Any adoptive parent will say how much work it was to adopt. Tons of paperwork, background checks, travel expense, fundraising, and etc. I can guarantee that those parents will say that is was worth it. I believe it takes as much work to adopt children as it does to have birth children.

     Gotcha day is a great thing to celebrate. It can show a child that their family is happy to have them in the family. Some children may not want to celebrate.  When the child is older, ask them if they want to celebrate it. When the child is young, I believe parents should celebrate gotcha day. There are different ways to celebrate gotcha day.  Parents could go all out to celebrate or do something small. Find something that works for your family.

Embracing the birth culture

     I believe that celebrating the child’s birth culture is very important. It gives a child a connection to their past they may not remember (depends on the age of the adoptive child). I do not think it is necessary to celebrate or do every activity from the birth culture but I think that parents should try to do some things from the culture. Cooking the food, celebrating the holidays, learning the language, and learning facts about the birth country are ways to embrace the birth culture/country. Depending on where you live, there may be culture events geared towards the child’s birth country. There also may be other adoptive families with children from the same country. The internet is a great place to find information about the birth culture. Youtube is also a great tool to find information about the birth culture. As the child gets older, they may not want to embrace their birth culture. It depends on the child if they want to keep learning about their birth culture as they get older. Do not force it upon then when the child is older. Let them decide.


Information about the past.

When a child is young, it can be hard to bring up the topic of the past. Every child has a different story. Some stories can be very sad and some stories can be very happy. I think it is best to tell the child information in an age appropriate way. Let’s say that your child is 2. Explain their situation in a simple way. As the child gets older, you can explain the details more. I would say teenage years is a good time to explain the details of their past. The child is older and comprehends more. Recently, I found information about my own past. The maturity level varies with children so it is the parent’s job to tell information in the best way. The thing to remember is to be honest with your child

You can receive updates about blog on Instagram @ awordwithlm or google plus at Liu Miao.

Friday, May 20, 2016

Interview Time

Most of us have had a job interview at some time in our lives. Whether it is for a scholarship/job/internship, interviews can be scary. I was so nervous for my first interview. My first interview was for a scholarship. There are a few things to consider when you go to an interview. These tips have helped me for interviews. I have a job interview and I will be using these tips for that interview.
-      Make sure that you know where and when the interview is.  It makes me feel less nervous when I know where I will be interviewed. There are many reasons why it is important to remember where and when the interview is. You do not want to end up late because you forget where the interview was or when it was. 
-      Make sure that you are a little early. I like to be five to ten minutes early. It is important to be punctual. Being early makes you look more professional and gives you time to do last minute things. Check to see if you look presentable, get your resume ready, and turn off your phone.
-      Make sure that you bring your resume and possible other documents. This tip applies more to job interview. Bringing your resume shows that you are prepared and professional. For my job interview, I also had to bring a sample of my writing.  It helps to have others proofread your documents.
-      Make sure that you dress professionally. For all my interviews, I dress in business attire. Dressing appropriately for an interviews shows that you take things seriously. When I dress up, I feel more confident. This helps me when I am being interviewed. The weather will also be a factor on what you will wear to an interview. A business suit is a good option for guys to wear for an interview. Business suits, dresses at knee length, and slacks with a button up shirt are good options for women to wear. Ladies keep the makeup simply. I liked to do a subtle neutral smokey eye and I keep my hair down.
-      Make sure that you get enough sleep. You do not want to be tired for the interview. Yawning while being interview can be viewed as rude or unprofessional by the interviewer.

 You can receive updates about blog on Instagram @ awordwithlm or google plus at Liu Miao. Here is a picture of what I wore to the interview.

Friday, May 6, 2016

Facing Fears

 Hello guys! I hope you all are doing well. Hang in there it is almost summer. I would say everyone is afraid of something. It is very hard to face your fears. I am discovering that it is hard to face my fears. What are some of your fears? I will be honest here and I will tell you guys some of my fears. Heights, self-worth, and being judged are some of my fears. How do I conquer these fears you may ask? In reality, I have not conquered these fears. I struggle with these fears but I am learning how to face them. Here are tips on how to face your fears. This process can take a long time to fulfill.

Talk to someone. This has really helped me. I love that I can talk to close friends or family about my fears. They always give me good advice and encourages me. I know that I can always talk to them and I love that I can receive hugs from them.

Writing your thoughts down. This can be a great alternative if you don’t prefer talking to people. I use this method when people aren’t available to talk with me at the time. Both these methods help you get your feelings out. It is better to get those feelings out rather than keeping the bottle up.

Sometimes it helps to work up to facing your fears. For example, pretend that you have a fear of snakes. Gradually work up to liking snakes. A person many never love snakes but they will have less fear when seeing a snake.

Comment below and tell me how you face your fears.

 You can receive updates about blog on Instagram @ awordwithlm or google plus at Liu Miao.