Thoughts about adoption by an adoptee

This is a very different kind of post than I usually do. Recently, I asked an adoptive mom what she would like to know about adoption from the view of an adoptee. There were three main topics that she asked me about. Belonging in a family, embracing the birth culture, and information about the past are the broad topics that I will discuss today. I am not claiming to be an expert but I think it is important to hear from the adoptee’s view. My opinions do not represent all adoptees but I hope that my opinions can help adoptive parents.

Belonging in a family.

     This is a very important aspect to consider in adoptive family. Sometimes it can be hard for an adoptive child to feel a part of a family. Some children will have these feelings at various ages. It will depend on the child and their circumstances. My parents always told me that they loved me like their birth children. They don’t always point out that I am adopted daughter. They call me their daughter.  This is important to note. I believe this can help a child feel a part of their family. This can give a child a sense of being like the other children.

    My parents have told me how much work they went through to adopt me. This shows me that they loved me. Any adoptive parent will say how much work it was to adopt. Tons of paperwork, background checks, travel expense, fundraising, and etc. I can guarantee that those parents will say that is was worth it. I believe it takes as much work to adopt children as it does to have birth children.

     Gotcha day is a great thing to celebrate. It can show a child that their family is happy to have them in the family. Some children may not want to celebrate.  When the child is older, ask them if they want to celebrate it. When the child is young, I believe parents should celebrate gotcha day. There are different ways to celebrate gotcha day.  Parents could go all out to celebrate or do something small. Find something that works for your family.

Embracing the birth culture

     I believe that celebrating the child’s birth culture is very important. It gives a child a connection to their past they may not remember (depends on the age of the adoptive child). I do not think it is necessary to celebrate or do every activity from the birth culture but I think that parents should try to do some things from the culture. Cooking the food, celebrating the holidays, learning the language, and learning facts about the birth country are ways to embrace the birth culture/country. Depending on where you live, there may be culture events geared towards the child’s birth country. There also may be other adoptive families with children from the same country. The internet is a great place to find information about the birth culture. Youtube is also a great tool to find information about the birth culture. As the child gets older, they may not want to embrace their birth culture. It depends on the child if they want to keep learning about their birth culture as they get older. Do not force it upon then when the child is older. Let them decide.

 

Information about the past.

When a child is young, it can be hard to bring up the topic of the past. Every child has a different story. Some stories can be very sad and some stories can be very happy. I think it is best to tell the child information in an age appropriate way. Let’s say that your child is 2. Explain their situation in a simple way. As the child gets older, you can explain the details more. I would say teenage years is a good time to explain the details of their past. The child is older and comprehends more. Recently, I found information about my own past. The maturity level varies with children so it is the parent’s job to tell information in the best way. The thing to remember is to be honest with your child

You can receive updates about blog on Instagram @ awordwithlm or google plus at Liu Miao.

Interview Time

Most of us have had a job interview at some time in our lives. Whether it is for a scholarship/job/internship, interviews can be scary. I was so nervous for my first interview. My first interview was for a scholarship. There are a few things to consider when you go to an interview. These tips have helped me for interviews. I have a job interview and I will be using these tips for that interview.

-      Make sure that you know where and when the interview is.  It makes me feel less nervous when I know where I will be interviewed. There are many reasons why it is important to remember where and when the interview is. You do not want to end up late because you forget where the interview was or when it was. 

-      Make sure that you are a little early. I like to be five to ten minutes early. It is important to be punctual. Being early makes you look more professional and gives you time to do last minute things. Check to see if you look presentable, get your resume ready, and turn off your phone.

-      Make sure that you bring your resume and possible other documents. This tip applies more to job interview. Bringing your resume shows that you are prepared and professional. For my job interview, I also had to bring a sample of my writing.  It helps to have others proofread your documents.

-      Make sure that you dress professionally. For all my interviews, I dress in business attire. Dressing appropriately for an interviews shows that you take things seriously. When I dress up, I feel more confident. This helps me when I am being interviewed. The weather will also be a factor on what you will wear to an interview. A business suit is a good option for guys to wear for an interview. Business suits, dresses at knee length, and slacks with a button up shirt are good options for women to wear. Ladies keep the makeup simply. I liked to do a subtle neutral smokey eye and I keep my hair down.

-      Make sure that you get enough sleep. You do not want to be tired for the interview. Yawning while being interview can be viewed as rude or unprofessional by the interviewer.

 You can receive updates about blog on Instagram @ awordwithlm or google plus at Liu Miao. Here is a picture of what I wore to the interview.

Facing Fears

 Hello guys! I hope you all are doing well. Hang in there it is almost summer. I would say everyone is afraid of something. It is very hard to face your fears. I am discovering that it is hard to face my fears. What are some of your fears? I will be honest here and I will tell you guys some of my fears. Heights, self-worth, and being judged are some of my fears. How do I conquer these fears you may ask? In reality, I have not conquered these fears. I struggle with these fears but I am learning how to face them. Here are tips on how to face your fears. This process can take a long time to fulfill.

Talk to someone. This has really helped me. I love that I can talk to close friends or family about my fears. They always give me good advice and encourages me. I know that I can always talk to them and I love that I can receive hugs from them.

Writing your thoughts down. This can be a great alternative if you don’t prefer talking to people. I use this method when people aren’t available to talk with me at the time. Both these methods help you get your feelings out. It is better to get those feelings out rather than keeping the bottle up.

Sometimes it helps to work up to facing your fears. For example, pretend that you have a fear of snakes. Gradually work up to liking snakes. A person many never love snakes but they will have less fear when seeing a snake.

Comment below and tell me how you face your fears.

 You can receive updates about blog on Instagram @ awordwithlm or google plus at Liu Miao.

WHAT IS IN MY SCHOOL BAG?

In college you will have a backpack/tote bag or something to keep school supplies. There are a few things that I like to bring in order to be prepared at college. What you bring in your bag will depends on courses you are taking, the weather, and how long you will be at school for a day. I usually being less if I'm not going to be at school long or if my classes don't require a lot of textbooks. Here are the things I bring to school. The tips can give you an idea on what to bring to school.

1.   Bring your textbook. This will vary depending on the course. Sometimes a professor will discuss readings from the book and it is helpful to have the text right there. You may also need the textbook to study for a test. I like to study for tests at school.

2.   Bring a notebook(s). This is for people who like to take notes by hand. I like to take notes by hand for most of my classes. I use a different notebook for each subject. I also use notebooks to do homework and class work especially for a math course. Do not forget pens/pencils to write in your notebooks. I also keep different colors of highlighters with me. I am obsessed with highlighters and I keep ten highlighters with me.

3.   Bring your laptop/ tablet. This is for people who take notes electronically. I also use my laptop to do homework while at school. I do not prefer to use the computer labs because I like to work in a secluded place on campus. If you will be at school for a long time, DO NOT forget your charger.

4.   Bring a drink and snacks/lunch. I bring my lunch to school. It is also important to keep hydrated. Since I tend to get hungry while I study, I like to bring snacks.

5.   Bring Chapstick, hand lotion, hair elastic, school ID, and hand sanitizer. This tip is more for the girls.  I hate it when my hands get dry at school. Hand sanitizer and Chapstick are good things to have at hand. I bring my school ID in order to use the school printers. School IDs can help get you discounts at various places. I like to keep a hair elastic with me so I can put my hair up.

I would love to hear what you bring to school. You can also follow this blog on Instagram @ awordwithlm or google plus at Liu Miao to keep updated on new blog posts.

Calling All High School Seniors!!!

Senior Year is very exciting. Do not try to rush through your last year. Enjoy it. This is the last time you will be in high school. This time of your life will also bring new changes. Deciding on getting a job, whether or not to attend college and if so where to go to college, what you want to do in life are some of the choices you will have to make. Here are some tips that can help you out during your senior year/ before freshman year in college.

•Enjoy your senior year. As I said in the beginning, do not rush it. There are new responsibilities that you will acquire. Some of these responsibilities will vary but some could include getting a job, paying your bills, moving in a dorm or apartment, and making major life decisions are some of the new responsibilities that you will have. Do not slack off during senior year. You should always do your best. If you plan to attend college, grades are very important when applying to a university of college.

•Take the ACT/SAT/TSI. This is for people who want to continue their education and go to college. These tests are important for college. You need them for college applications. The tests scores determine if your ready for college course. If you score is low, you may have to take remedial classes.

•Apply to a College/ university. This tip also applies to future college students. Colleges/ universities have deadlines for applications. You do not want to miss these deadlines. Depending on the school, you can have application fees voided and or no essay to write if you apply early. Juniors in high school can sometimes apply depending on the school. Find out when colleges / universities accept applications.

•Learn about your college/ university. Once you have been accepted and decided on a school, learn about the school. This will help you get excited about starting college soon. If you are going to a school out of state or in a different part of the state you live, learning about the weather and city can be very important. Therefore you will be prepared when you move to your school. Learning about the city is important because you do not want to get lost and you could find fun activities to do in your new location. Also, learning about your school is very important. You do not want to be completely lost on your first day of college. I recommend reading the rules of your college, visiting the website, visit the campus before the first day, and talk to upperclassmen.

Have a great day and a wonderful senior year. I would love to hear your opinion about the blog. Follow awordwithlm on Instagram and Liu Miao on Google plus to keep updated on new posts!

Motivational Talk

Just Keep Swimming 

( image taken from Google.)

This is from the movie: Finding Nemo.  Dory is the name of the fish in the image above. She says this quote a few times in this movie " Just Keep Swimming ". I believe there is a good lesson from this quote. Life can be really hard. There are so many stressors in life and it can be exhausting. Work, school, health, and relationship problems are some of the stressors that people have. Here are some tips that can help you conquer your stressors and motivate you to keep going in life.

1. HAVE ME TIME. When life is busy, you need to have some personal time. This allows you to have a break and it can calm you. Doing art, cooking/baking, watching a movie/ tv show/ YouTube, and spending time with friends are some of the things that I like to do for me time.

2. BREAK BIG TASKS INTO SMALLER CHUNKS. The task will seem less intimidating. This helps with time management and helps reduces procrastination. I use this technique for homework and studying for exams/quizzes. When I use this technique, I am less stressed and I feel more confident about the exam/ quizzes. This tip could be applied for other projects that you need to accomplish.

3. DO YOUR BEST. There are times that people will criticize you on something that you have done. Do not beat yourself up when you receive criticism. What matters is doing your best. Sometimes criticism can help you accomplish doing your best. We learn from other's peoples mistakes and wealth of knowledge.

I hope these tips can help you. I would love to hear how you conquer stressors and stay motivated in life.

Saving Money in college.

I apologize for not posting in forever. I have been busy with coursework. Since it is spring break in the States, I thought this would be a good topic to write about it. I like to save when I can. It’s nice when I can save money on my spring break activities. While starting college, I have learned that college is expensive. I have learned a few ways to save money without sacrificing fun. Being smart with money is important to learn. It will show that you can be responsible. Let’s show the world that not all college students are broke. I hope these tips can benefit you.

1)   Bring your own food. I have saved money by not eating in the cafeteria. I am not saying never eat in the cafeteria just not eat there often. A person can prepare a tasty lunch that is cheaper than buying it at the cafeteria. Bringing your own lunch can be healthier. I am able to eat fruits that are not offered at the café.  There are so many options when it comes to bringing your own lunch. It can be a hassle to bring your own lunch but it is worth it in the end.

2)   Find free stuff at your school. My school offers free activities and activities at a reduced price. This is a great way to save money and socialize with people. Some schools offer free services. For example, they offer free printing, counseling sessions, tutoring services, use of fitness center. Take advantage of these free services. I have used some of these services at my school and it has helped me greatly.

3)   Use your student ID. There are several places that will give discounts to college students.  Some restaurants, stores, and online websites offer great discounts. I know certain movies theaters give discounts too. These discounts will vary depending on where you live.

Have a lovely day and spring break. I would like to hear your opinions or topic ideas about the blog.