Whats In My Spoonie Survival Kit

I am happy to welcome another blogger to the #SpoonieSeries , Juliette. I love having other fellow Spoonies to contribute to this series because we can learn and be encouraged by other Spoonie's Stories.  Juliette Sebock is the founder of lifestyle blog, For the Sake of Good Taste. She is a poet and writer as well as a full-time blogger and influencer. In addition to the blog, she has created content for Her Campus and The Mighty and has poems and other creative pieces in a variety of outlets.  She is the author of a poetry chapbook, Mistakes Were Made. You can find Juliette at For the Sake of Good Taste or on social media.

I live with an assortment of chronic illnesses, both physical and psychological. Some are diagnosed, while others remain a mystery as of now.  Diagnosed or not, though, I've had to learn how to manage my various conditions;  I've talked about this a bit on The Mighty and my own blog (like in this post, featuring tips for managing chronic pain).  One of the most beneficial things I've done in the process of figuring this out is create a "flare kit," which I affectionately refer to as my "spoonie survival kit."  With these items close at hand,  the worst of my flare days become just a little bit easier.

   

For me, personally, I don't always have these in a literal kit.  I have some items in multiples, scattered throughout my apartment and my purses, and I keep others in a central location so it's always on hand.

Not all of these items will apply to everyone, but they've made a huge difference for me!

Muscle Rub

I especially like Absorbine Jr.'s products, so I usually keep something of theirs or a generic muscle rub in a few different places throughout my apartment and in various purses and bags.

Pills

This is one that will especially vary, but, for me, it usually includes a few different types of ibuprofen (Advil's original, migraine, and PM being the most common), something for menstrual pain relief, allergy pills, motion sickness medication, lavender capsules, and Pepto Bismol.

Heating pad

A heated blanket or hot water bottle will work to! I have a "normal" heating pad, a microwaveable sock filled with beans and essential oils, an electric blanket. and a hot water bottle, myself because heat seems to especially help me.  

Ice pack

Of course, I keep this one in the freezer, rather than in various spots around the house!  Sometimes I need ice, not heat for a symptom and an ice pack is the perfect way to get it.

Rubber jar grip

For me, one of the worst things when a flare hits is that my hands don't work very well. This sort of rubbery grip is perfect for opening my pill containers, water bottle, or whatever won't open.

Braces/bandages

I have a variety of braces, for almost every body part at this point!  If I don't have an appropriate brace, an ACE bandage is the perfect substitute.

Ear plugs/headphones

Especially when I was living at school, noise has always been a particularly unavoidable trigger.  Ear plugs are great if I'm able to rest in bed, or I'll put in headphones and play some calming music or videos if I'm out and about.

Pillow

This is another one that will vary.  I previously had a pregnancy pillow that was the best thing for my chronic joint pain.  Lately, I've been using a standard body pillow to "cuddle" with my the joint pain, a small pillow under my hips while lying down, and a sciatica pillow while sitting for a while.  

Animal

For me, my emotional support cat, Fitz, is a huge help.  In the future, I plan to have a service dog (my friend Lauren of Lauren's Journey has a great post on distinguishing between ESAs and psychiatric service animals).  Not able to have a pet? A stuffed animal won't have exactly the same effect, but it can be a great comfort nevertheless!

Eye mask

Light is another major trigger of mine, and my bed is extremely close to a window.  For that reason, an eye mask is helpful!

Sunglasses

Similarly to the eye mask, sunglasses are a huge help when I'm out and about.  I might get some strange looks when I'm wearing sunglasses at night ("so I can, so I can. . . ."), but it's worth it.  

Water bottle

I'm a huge proponent of staying hydrated, and this is especially true when a flare hits.  I try to avoid using excessive plastic, so I'll keep a reusable bottle on me. 

If you struggle with drinking enough water, check out my post on ways to stay hydrated!

Fuzzy socks

Even on good days, my feet get outrageously cold.  A pair of fuzzy socks are a must-have. 

Games or puzzles

A mindless phone game or distracting puzzle can be a great way to think about anything but a flare.  I use the app "Virtual Hope Box," which features a Sudoku game and other puzzles, which inspired me to try this sort of thing more often.  I keep these sorts of apps on hand, plus puzzle books featuring more Sudoku, crosswords, and more!

Tea

I'm a fan of tea at any point, but it's especially beneficial during flares. Yogi tea is particularly helpful--I like their stress relief, joint comfort, and woman's raspberry leaf varieties, myself.

Journal

My bullet journal is a sort of lifeline any day, but it's especially helpful during a flare.  "Brain fog" is very real, so a to do list is absolutely crucial if I can't avoid being somewhat productive.

Want to start a "bujo" of our own?  Check out our posts on bullet journalling on For the Sake of Good Taste!

Mobility aid

While I don't use it often, my cane, "Viktor" is a saving grace when my joints or dizziness are particularly bothersome.  

Compression products

My hands are some of my most frequent issues, so compression gloves are one of my go-to items.  I'm looking into trying some compression socks, too!

Tablet or cell phone

I've found that my full-fledged computer screen is a bit much when I'm not feeling well, so I turn to my tablet or cell phone to stay connected.  Sometimes it's still too much, but when I can manage it, it's a nice alternative, especially with a "warm" or sleep setting on the screen. 

A snack

Some crisps, crackers, basic cookies, or a protein bar are a good alternative when I can't eat "normal" food.  I like some mashed potatoes or pudding if I need even less effort in terms of chewing. 

Please follow A Word with Liu Miao on Instagram at awordwithlm to receive updates about new posts on the blog and to see a glimpse of my life.

A word from Rachel

Happy National Adoption Month:  To promote awareness for children in foster care in the United States. It began  as National Adoption Week in 1976 by Governor Michael Dukakis and it was declared by President Reagan in 1984. Then it was expanded to a whole month by President Clinton. 

The Adoption Series will feature those in the adoption triad: The Birth Family, Adoptee, Adoptive Family. There may be differing opinions among those in the adoption community and that is ok. It is important to respect other's opinions and sometimes one can learn from someone's different opinions. 

This week in The Adoption Series: The Adoptee.

My name is Rachel Nas, and I was adopted from Changsha, Hunan, China when I was nine months old. I have lived in central Virginia all of my life, and I am currently a sophomore at Liberty University, pursuing a degree in Biochemistry and Molecular Biology.  

Please Remember that this post doesn't represent the opinions or experiences of all adoptees. This post only represents Rachel's experiences and opinions. 

So, it's National Adoption Month. This is one of my favorite times of year, because it opens the floor for all of those in the adoption triad (adoptees, adoptive families, and first families) to share their stories and their opinions. As most of us know, adoption isn't easy. There are so many components to adoption: love and loss, grief and joy, anger and peace. I have come to realize that such is life. There is no easy answer. There will always be hard, unanswered questions and grief so deep that it sometimes feels as if you're drowning. 

There are many things about my adoption story that fill me with unspeakable, unnameable emotion. When I was abandoned on that street corner so many years ago, I lost the chance to know my birth family. I lost a true connection to a beautiful culture and language. I don't know my actual birth date. I don't know what time I was born or how much I weighed. I truly don't know if my birth parents loved me. 

However, I am so thankful for the life and opportunities I have been given. I was placed into a loving home with two doting parents who have sacrificed so much for me. I have access to clean water, all the food I could ever dream of eating, a home to come back to, and the ability to pursue my dreams. 

So the only thing I ask is that you listen. Everyone has opinions, and each person is entitled to them. However, I ask that you listen to what we as adoptees have to say. These are our stories, and these are real things that have happened in our lives. You might not be able to understand, but I ask that you listen. I ask you to at least try to look at things from our perspective. All that we have gained from our adoption will never fill the holes in our lives and stories that adoption has caused us. These stories of ours have so much beauty mixed with pain and grief, and that's what makes them so important. May we never lose sight of that.

Please follow A Word with Liu Miao on Instagram at awordwithlm to receive updates about new posts on the blog and to see a glimpse of my life.

An Unusual Adoption

Happy National Adoption Month:  To promote awareness for children in foster care in the United States. It began  as National Adoption Week in 1976 by Governor Michael Dukakis and it was declared by President Reagan in 1984. Then it was expanded to a whole month by President Clinton.

The Adoption Series will feature those in the adoption triad: The Birth Family, Adoptee, Adoptive Family. There may be differing opinions among those in the adoption community and that is ok. It is important to respect other's opinions/experiences and sometimes one can learn from someone's different opinions/experiences

This week in The Adoption Series: The Adoptee.  Juliette Sebock is the founder of lifestyle blog, For the Sake of Good Taste. She is a poet and writer as well as a full-time blogger and influencer. In addition to the blog, she has created content for Her Campus and The Mighty and has poems and other creative pieces in a variety of outlets.  She is the author of a poetry chapbook, Mistakes Were Made. You can find Juliette at For the Sake of Good Taste or on social media. Please Remember that this doesn't represent all adoptee's experiences or opinions. This post only represents Juliette's experiences and opinions.

Within a few years of my coming into the world, my biological father decided he didn't want to be a part of my life.  I won't lie--this almost cliche story has bothered me over the years, but I've been lucky, nevertheless. For years, my mom was the best, Gilmore Girls-esque single mom a girl could ask for.  To this day, I'm remarkably close to both her and her extended family and I'm truly grateful for the time we spent together, just her and I. 

Around the time I entered kindergarten, she had met someone, a man named Chris.  She'd had a few boyfriends before, but I can't say I remember any of them now.  Chris was different--Chris stayed around.  They got married a few years later, my younger sister was born, and things changed forever.

As their relationship got more serious, the topic of him adopting me--officially--came up time and again.  He had grown up in a large Czech-Italian family and understood how important family is, in all its forms.

However, there was something else that had an impact on this decision.  In the midst of all of this, my biological grandparents had decided that, despite their son's negligence, they deserved to have a place in my life.  In their eyes, that meant buying that place--first through a lawyer who could finagle a warped custody agreement that forced me to visit them, then with a string of gifts that they believed would win them a place in my heart.  

At the same time, they spent these years trying to turn me against what I consider to be my "real" family.  Not-so-subtle remarks against my homelife and outrageous restrictions amounted almost a decade of emotional abuse.  Thanks to the legal situation, it took until I was thirteen to feel that I could confront them and insist upon cutting off these visits--for all intents and purposes, I hadn't had a valid opinion as a younger child.  

They continued to harass me for years after (and still to this day), but there was one thing that I still couldn't escape from--my birth name.  My mom had had a particularly difficult birth and almost died in the process of having me; so they and their son named me after other family members, with his surname.  

Between his own absenteeism and their years of abuse, this name haunted me through high school and into college.  From the elementary school gym teacher who called everyone by their last name to first-day roll calls, I was struck time and again by memories and relived the trauma.  

So, this was a huge factor in my adoption story: I needed to escape this too, for my own mental health.  But, as time went on, other financial matters took precedence. After all, no one doubted that I was part of the family, despite the name I had to go by.  Where it mattered, I was already "adopted." The cost of making it legally official was an awful lot to our family.  My grandfather---Dad's dad, Chris' dad---wanted to make it happen, but passed away before he could do so.

When I turned 18, it became even less crucial, in a rational sense, to legalise my adoption.  Once I was no longer a minor, it had little bearing in a legal sense. But I still found myself trying to escape the past and the name that forced me to relive it time and again.  

So, I took matters into my own hands as a junior in college.  After months of research, I found out how to legally take Dad's last name and went to court to change my name officially.  It still cost more than I liked spending, but it was worth it to be an "official" Sebock--legally. 

I changed my first name to Juliette (which is similar enough to the former name to continue using my nickname, Jules), too.  To those that don't know this entire story, it's perplexing--people still call me by the wrong name without knowing better, and some even think I only use it as a pen name, since my first book came out not long after the name change was legitimised.  But, to me, this was an equally important part.  When I moved to the UK and entered my new programme, everyone there knew me as Juliette, or Jules. It was the new start I'd needed throughout my entire life.

I kept my middle name, but not because of any affinity for the people that had given it to me. Rather, I'd used it as my "confirmation" name when my mom and I converted to Catholicism to join our family (Dad's family's, originally) church. My grandfather and aunt served as our sponsors and it was one of the earliest times that I knew I was a real member of the family. For me, this memory surpassed any other references.

I'm happy to report that dad teared up when I told him--I kept it a secret until his birthday, no less!  

Dad and I don't have a perfect relationship by any means, but I'm so grateful nevertheless. He never had to be perfect because he did something more important:  he was actually there. 

As you've probably noticed, I never did get officially adopted, at least not in a traditional sense. But I don't doubt that this "unofficial" adoption was just as real to me as a child, and became even more so when I was finally able to share my family's name.  Our family's never been traditional, so, in a way, it fits even more.  Please follow A Word with Liu Miao on Instagram at awordwithlm to receive updates about new posts on the blog and to see a glimpse of my life.

Finding Me

Happy National Adoption Month:  To promote awareness for children in foster care in the United States. It began  as National Adoption Week in 1976 by Governor Michael Dukakis and it was declared by President Reagan in 1984. Then it was expanded to a whole month by President Clinton. 

The Adoption Series will feature those in the adoption triad: The Birth Family, Adoptee, Adoptive Family. There may be differing opinions among those in the adoption community and that is ok. It is important to respect other's opinions and sometimes one can learn from someone's different opinions. 

This week in The Adoption Series: The Adoptee. The following post was written by an Adoptee. 

Please Remember that this post doesn't represent the opinions or experiences of all adoptees. This post only represents this adoptee's thoughts and opinions.

When I was in middle school, I loved playing sports and my favorite sport to play was football. Waking up early in the summer morning for practice, laughing with my friends on the sidelines, and fighting for each other on the field was the best. In football I wasn’t tall enough to play lineman and I wasn’t quick enough to play wide receiver, but what I could do was throw the ball. Every day in evenings when my dad got home from work I would ask him if we could go to the park and play catch. It was so much fun throwing the ball around with my friends and pretending like we were pros.  However, things changed and during my freshman year, I quite football after three weeks of practice and changed to running cross country. Why the change you might ask? I didn’t stop because I lost interest, but I simplycame to the realty that I wasn’t supposed to play football. You see I am an Asian guy and I also happen to not be the tallest person in the world. During my freshman year, I was faced with the reality that it didn’t matter how good I could throw if I couldn’t see over the guys in front of me. I was throwing blind. After a few really rough practices I decided football wasn’t for me. Now this was very tough time in my life for me, because it was hard watching my friends, who I grew up with, play the sport I loved.  Now I know this happens to most of us at some point in our lives where we realize that our bodies can’t match the things we want them to accomplish, but for me it was really tough as the only Asian in a school with all white kids. Also, being different didn’t stop at sports either. In high school, there was this girl I liked, and we had been friends a long time and had a variety of classes together. She was nice and sweet and she was the girl everyone wanted to be friends with. My sophomore in high school I asked her out and to my dismay she told me that she wasn’t interested in dating Asians, but still wanted to be friends. Now I get everyone has preferences and I understand that she has hers, but that didn’t stop the internal pain and rejection that I look happened every time I looked into the mirror. 

​For me, the hardest part of growing up was always being different from everyone else. Different from my parents, my teachers, and my friends. It was stressful, and now that I look back, I wish I had more connections with other Asians my age.

​However, I also want to add that as an adopted kid that things aren’t always going to bad, the key dealing with my struggles is controlling the things you can and letting go of the things you can’t because at the end of the day the only person I could be was me. 

​On the cross-country team, I made varsity my freshman year and was Captain the year after that. It wasn’t football, but because I worked hard I was able to find success as something I worked very hard for. I loved running so much that later in college I managed to run my first marathon.  My junior year in highschool I started dating this really cute American girl who I met in theater club. We aren’t dating today, but we grew as people together and shared a lot of happy memories. In college, I started to learn Chinese and made a few Chinese American friends who I consider good friends. So if there is any other adoptee out there reading this, I hope to tell them that it gets better and that I hope they aren’t afraid to be themselves. 

Please follow A Word with Liu Miao on Instagram: awordwithlm to receive updates about new posts and a peek into my life.

Sharing to Much?

Happy National Adoption Month:  To promote awareness for children in foster care in the United States. It began  as National Adoption Week in 1976 by Governor Michael Dukakis and it was declared by President Reagan in 1984. Then it was expanded to a whole month by President Clinton. 

The Adoption Series will feature those in the adoption triad: The Birth Family, Adoptee, Adoptive Family. There may be differing opinions among those in the adoption community and that is ok. It is important to respect other's opinions and sometimes one can learn from someone's different opinions. 

This week in The Adoption Series: The Adoptee. The following post was written by me, Liu Miao. I am a Chinese adoptee. I love to blog and eat. Adoption is very important to me. I love to help bring awareness and educate others about adoption. I have a lot of opinions about adoption, but it is so important to hear from other adoptees, adoptive families, and birth families so this is why I started The Adoption Series.  

Please Remember that this post doesn't represent the opinions or experiences of all adoptees. This post only represents my experiences and opinions. 

Most of use social media to share about our lives to friends and families. Social media is also used to keep connected with people. I have noticed in the adoption community that there is a tendency to share about adopted kids and their journey. Sometimes these accounts are public too. No I don't think it is always bad to share about your adopted kids. Sharing on social media can encourage another fellow adoptive parent, bring awareness about adoption or help educate someone about adoption.

I think that there is a point of sharing too much online. Adopted kids have a special story and sometimes it isn't appropriate to share it verbally or online. There comes a time when the kids need to be the one to share their story especially as they become older. You may say that my kids are very young. I would suggest that one doesn't share to many details about their story to the public ( unless it is like the doctors or another situation calls for detail).  Some kids may not care if their story is shared. It depends on each person. I would suggest asking your kids because sometimes they may be afraid to hurt your feelings.  Even as an adult adoptee, I don't always share the specific details of my adoption story because there are some details that don't need to be shared on the blog or Instagram. Remember before posting or speaking with someone, is this a detail that needs to be shared? If my child was an adult, would they be ok if this detail was shared on social media or verbally to someone.  Just something to consider.

~Liu Miao~

College Life Lessons

Currently I am in my last year of undergrad. My experience are different from those who attend a big university and my university is very small. There are so many lessons that I have learned while in college. I do not claim to be an expert or have all the answers, but I wanted to share some life lessons from college.

• Take advantage of the student resources such as the gym, printing, computer labs, tutoring, writing center, and career center. This is where some of your money goes towards. These resources are very help for college classes, applying for jobs or graduate schools, and finding a job.
• Make connections with professors and or TAs. This is helpful for two reasons. First, talking and asking questions can help you understand the class better. Second, professors are more willing to write recommendation letters if they know who you are.
• Join an organization. This is great because it allows you to relax and have fun. Classes are so important but having some fun is also important. This also allows you to make new friends that have similar interests.
• It is ok if you change your major. People change as they grow older and this includes their interests. Sometimes a person discovers new interests and realizes what they want to do as a career. I do recommend changing your major before it is too late so you don’t have to take extra classes. I changed my major at the second semester of sophomore year. I wasn’t affected by changing majors since I was taking vote classes up to the beginning of my second semester of sophomore year.
• Writing papers are actually important. Many jobs require some form of writing and it is important to present your thoughts effectively whether it is for a book, marketing, a proposal.

I would love to hear your life lessons from college!

~Liu Miao~