Why I started this blog

Hello readers!! I hope that everyone is having a great Monday so far. I can’t believe that the month of January is almost over. Today I want to share why I started this blog , A Word with Liu Miao.

I started this blog fall 2015. This was about 3.5 years ago and so much has happened since starting this blog. Writing has been one of my favorite things to do since I was a little kid. I used to write short stories and stories with many chapters as a kid. In high school, I discovered Youtubers and bloggers. I liked that bloggers and Youtubers shared content such as tutorials, sharing inspiring stories , life experiences or favorite products. What does this different type of content have in common? Content helps people in some form whether it be educational or making people happy.

So in the year 2015, I decided I wanted to share my thoughts, experience and knowledge to the world in someway. I decided to do it in the form of a blog. This is how A Word with Liu Miao blog was started. The name of the blog comes from my Chinese name. The “A Word with “ part was to mimic a conversation between friends such as let’s have a Word together. I tried to pick a name that didn’t force me into a certain topic to write about such as Cooking with Liu or College with Liu.( Nothing bad with blogs that are geared towards a certain audience/ topic) I wanted the ability to write about a variety of topics

Have a great week
~Liu Miao~

International Travel Tips

I have travel abroad by myself to Switzerland in 2017 and I learned some great tips that can be helpful for those who haven’t travel internationally before or for those who want to learn new tips.. It can be such an exciting and nervous time. My perspective is an American traveling internationally but many of these tips can be used for those from a different country.

• passport. This is a very important document. If you don’t have one, make sure you get it in plenty of time before your trip. If your passport is expired or close to expiring , renew it in enough time.
• Visa. Some countries require a visa to get into the country. Make sure to get one in enough time.
• Do some research about the place/places you are visiting. Try to learn customs( for example is it acceptable to handshake or give hugs), the currency, a little bit of the history. It is good to show respect to the places that you visit.
• Make sure to keep a little bit of currency from your home country with you while you are traveling so when you return to your home country, you can buy some food if there is a delay at the airport. Some people like to exchange currency or carry a card ( with the card you have to discuss with your bank at least in the USA. I am not sure if other countries offer these type of cards) or do both. It really depends where you are going since not all places take card. On my trip, I exchanged money into the currency of the country I visited.
• I looked up a map of the airports that I flew into. This was helpful so I had an idea of where I was going. Many airports are really big and some require to take a train to get to other terminals.
• Make sure you have a plug adapter for the country/ countries you are visiting. Plug adapter allows you to plug something into the plugs in other country since the shape of the plug outlet can vary.  Here is an article that lists what plug type and voltage that countries use plug type, voltage   You may need a voltage converter Voltage is the amount of electricity that goes into what you just plugged in. Some countries have a higher voltage power. Some devices are dual voltage that don't require a voltage converter. Here is a great article that explains this all in detailed voltage converter info.  I'm not an expert in this area and I would make sure to research or discuss with someone who understands this. I only brought an iPhone charger and it only required an plug adapter. I didn't bring any other devices such as a computer or hair blow dryer since I was staying with a friend and she let me use her things. If I was studying abroad, I would have brought my own computer.

I hope these tips help with your future travels. Do any of you guys have travel plans for 2019? Let me know in the comments below. 

Have a great weekend

~Liu Miao~

Gift Guide: Dog owners

Hello Readers! I hope all is well and you are enjoying the Christmas season. I am happy to have a break from school and relax a bit. Christmas is a fun time of giving and spending time with loved ones. This gift guide is to help you shop for the Dog Owners in your life. Please remember that this list is just suggestions and it is not an inclusive list. The products mentioned in this post are not sponsored by the company and are my own opinions.

• Kong products: I personally use these products and love them for my dog. These products last a long time and great for heavy chewers.  Kong Classic Dog Toy- Treat Dispensing is my favorite product. This toy challenges dogs to work for treats. I put peanut butter inside the toy. The tug-a-war toy is also a great option since it is a great toy for fetch. Kong products are expensive but they are great quality. PetSmart often has these products on sale.

• Milk bone products: This is another product that is great. I use the Milk bone: original biscuits. They come in different sizes of biscuits and different quantity sizes ( a big box of bones or a medium size box of bones depending on how many bones that you give your dog).

• Grreat Choice Toys: I use the Spike ball squeaker toy, and Spike bone squeaker toy. The spike squeaker toys come in other shapes. They are good quality and last for a while. They are also very affordable compared to Kong brand.

• Dog Sweaters: I buy dog sweaters at Walmart because it is usually really affordable. The sizing is not always accurate but Walmart has great Christmas sweaters for dogs. They also have none- christmas sweaters too.

• Gift cards: This is a great option for dog owners since this allows them to pick what they want. PetSmart, Petco, Walmart, and Target are great places to get dog products. Buying a gift card from a local dog shop is also a great option.

I hope this helps give you ideas and that you have a great weekend! Please follow the blog on Instagram @awordwithlm to receive updates about the blog and a peek into my daily life.

~Liu Miao~

Gift Guide:Spoonies

Hello readers! I hope all is well. I recently finished my semester and so excited to be on break. Christmas is a great time because it involves giving gifts, family, friends and good food. Sometimes it can be hard to know what to buy for people. This gift guide to help you shop for the Spoonies in your life. Please remember that this list is only suggestions and is not an inclusive list.

• Cozy things: There are many times where Spoonies need to rest at home due to having a chronic illness. Fuzzy socks, comfortable pillows, and really soft blankets can be great options. Having these things can make resting at home a little more comfortable and make a person feel a little better.

• Fun things to do while sitting/ relaxing in bed: Movies are a great option for something fun to do while resting. Coloring/ drawing is another great option. Books can be a good option since this activity is low key on the physical activity. Audio books are great if one doesn't like reading physical book or for those who may not be able to focus on a book when they are having a bad heath day but they still enjoy reading. Also Audio books don't require as much room as physical books.

• Food: Some Spoonies have to be on special diets due to their health and it can be hard to find foods/desserts that fit those restrictions. If you can find foods/desserts that fit their health restrictions, it can be a great gift idea since you took the time to find the special foods/desserts. A personalized water bottle or lunch bag are great options too since it is important to stay hydrated especially for Spoonies. A lunch bag is great for those who like to bring their own food due to health restrictions and a cute/personalized bag makes it more fun.

• Technology accessories: Extra long charging chords are a Spoonie's best friend. Many times technology give Spoonies entertainment when they can't go out and those extra long chords are very helpful for those long hours in bed. Five below, Target, and Walmart have great inexpensive extra long charging chords. Headphones/earbuds are a great option too. A fun personalized phone case or tablet case would be a great option.

I hope this gift guide helps you with your shopping. Have a great weekend. Follow the blog on Instagram @awordwithlm to see updates about the blog and a peek into my daily life.

~Liu Miao~

Gift Guide: College Students

Hello readers! How is everyone? I recently finished my semester and so happy to have a break from school. I can't believe it's almost Christmas. Has everyone finished their gift shopping? If not, this gift guide can help give you ideas to shop for your college classmate or family member who is in college. This gift guide can be applied for those who are college age. Please remember that this list is only suggestions and is not an inclusive gift guide.

• Gift cards: This can be a great gift especially if you are not sure what someone likes. Also restaurant gift cards are nice since young adults don't always have extra money to eat out #brokecollegestudent. Target, Walmart, and Visa gift cards are great options. If you know a specific place a friend likes to shop, then maybe a gift card there would be a great gift. Gift cards allow the person to pick something they want and ensure that they really like the gift. If you have to travel for Christmas, gift cards are travel friendly.

• Technology accessories: Personalized phone cases or tablet cases can make christmas gifts. Headphones/earbuds, charging cords, and screen protectors are also great options. It never hurts to have extras of these since many times they get lost. Five Below and target has inexpensive technology accessories.

• Homemade goodie basket: Many times college students don't have the time to make homemade food. It would be nice to make a gift basket of homemade foods/ desserts that they like.

• Relaxing things: Buy a gift that is relaxing for college age students. Movies, face masks, bath salts, games, books ( fun reading),  fuzzy socks, and music are things that can be relaxing for college age people. College students are often stressed and it is so important to relax.

I hope that this gift guide helps you with your shopping for college age friends and family. Have a great weekend. Please follow the blog on Instagram @awordwithlm to receive updates about the blog and see a glimpse into my daily life.

~Liu Miao~

Where are you from?

Happy National Adoption Month:  To promote awareness for children in foster care in the United States. It began  as National Adoption Week in 1976 by Governor Michael Dukakis and it was declared by President Reagan in 1984. Then it was expanded to a whole month by President Clinton. 

The Adoption Series will feature those in the adoption triad: The Birth Family, Adoptee, Adoptive Family. There may be differing opinions among those in the adoption community and that is ok. It is important to respect other's opinions and sometimes one can learn from someone's different opinions. 

This week in The Adoption Series: The Adoptee. The following post was written by an Adoptee. 

Please Remember that this post doesn't represent the opinions or experiences of all adoptees. This post only represents this adoptee's thoughts and opinions.

     “Where are you from?” This has always been a loaded question for me, as an adoptee. People always assume that I have Chinese parents, and was born in China. If I do not know them well, I don’t like to divulge such personal information that I am in fact adopted. I don’t want them to think they can invalidate my identity once they hear that I was torn from my roots. When I was at a small liberal arts college, everyone thought I was an international student, as 99% of the Chinese students came from Shanghai. I went along with this storyline, expanding to include an imaginary dad who owned a computer business. I knew I was playing into stereotypes, but I took solace in the make believe. In addition, I usually look towards dealing with racial assumptions through humor rather than be on the defense. “Where are you from?” An ‘innocent’ accusation revealing you are stuck in between, neither fully American, nor fully Chinese.

     Will you ever be enough? After college, I finally realized I didn’t need anyone to validate my identity. Despite coming to America at the young age of 3, I consider myself to be Chinese first, American second. Many people have questioned the validity in this identity, but it is how I claim myself to be. Where am I from? I am from China, and that is all you (a stranger) are privy to know. Do not push me further, or I may lead you down an endless path leading to nowhere. It is fine to be curious, but be aware that words as well as actions can have consequences whether it be for better or for worse. To ask me where I am from puts me on the defense. I feel like I do not truly fit in, because my appearance or behavior is constantly in question. I have enough inner turmoil that I do not need to take upon the stress that your question produces. It is enough to be adopted, and to be in a constant state of figuring things out. 

     So next time, think before you ask. Maybe find a better way to ask about someone’s background than to ask them where they are from, or where they are really from. Where are you from?

Please follow A Word with Liu Miao on Instagram at awordwithlm to receive updates about new posts on the blog and to see a glimpse of my life.

Gotcha?

Happy National Adoption Month:  To promote awareness for children in foster care in the United States. It began  as National Adoption Week in 1976 by Governor Michael Dukakis and it was declared by President Reagan in 1984. Then it was expanded to a whole month by President Clinton. 

The Adoption Series will feature those in the adoption triad: The Birth Family, Adoptee, Adoptive Family. There may be differing opinions among those in the adoption community and that is ok. It is important to respect other's opinions and sometimes one can learn from someone's different opinions.

This week in The Adoption Series: The Adoptive Family.

 Lanaya and her husband have the privilege of parenting two beautiful girls who joined their family through international adoption. Adoption makes their family a whole lot more beautiful, and brings unique challenges to the table. This has driven her in her pursuit of adoption education, particularly from adoptee and birthparent voices, which she seeks to elevate in the adoption community. She believes passionately in the value of every human life and the incredible grace of God. She loves to read and learn, especially on the topic of adoption. She and her family live in Alberta, Canada. Connect with Lanaya on Instagram lanaya graham, and through her blog found at lanayagraham

Please Remember that this post doesn't represent the opinions or experiences of all Adoptive Families. This post only represents the thoughts and experiences of Lanaya and her family.

Have you ever been in a situation that just made you feel icky? Have you ever felt like you were just an object to be used for someone else’s entertainment or gain? Maybe you were a kid on the playground that somehow knew you were the butt of a joke but didn’t get it. Maybe you were walking down the street and had a stranger cat call then snicker with a buddy. Maybe you took a stand for an injustice and had someone laugh in your face. 

I bet at one time or another we’ve all felt this way. Maybe we’ve even been the one to make the jab. It just feels gross to be objectified like that. It feels awkward and leaves us unsure of our footing. Maybe we are mad, maybe we are sad. Undoubtedly we are hurt.

Remembering how we felt when we were objectified is the best way to gain empathy when we are listening to the stories of adoptees who feel objectified within their adoption stores. We need to try and imagine how they feel when they speak, even if haven’t had the same experience or feelings about a similar experience. One way in which I have tried really hard to honouradoptees’ feelings is by changing the language I use when I talk about my children and about adoption in general.

From intentionally listening to adoptees, I have heard over and over that the phrase “gotcha day” makes many of them feel objectified, less than and commoditized. Like they were something to be purchased or owned. I stop and think about the connotation of that word, it makes perfect sense! When we play tag and call out “gotcha!” as we tag someone, we are claiming a victory. We become the winner, and someone else the looser. When we use “gotcha” at the end of a prank, we are lording our prowess over the person who is now the butt of the joke. We gain the upper hand, while someone else is left feeling powerless and resentful. I might use this phrase if I snag the last jug of milk at the grocery store, when I catch a pest in my home, or when I find a long lost t-shirt behind my freezer. 

I know there are adoptees who are not offended by this phrase just like there are people of every minority who still use older terms to refer to themselves. However, I believe this is a simple, easy change that I can make- even if not all adoptees are offended by it. In my mind, even if only a few people are offended by this phrase, it is worth it to me to find another. 

My husband and I have a few very special days in our hearts as the parents of children who joined our family via adoption, rather than biology. Right now we choose to call these days “family days” and try to do something special for and with the child who we are celebrating. But I say this cautiously because we hold these traditions VERY loosely. I know my children have complex feelings about adoption. All their thoughts and emotions are valid as they change, shift and grow. If there comes a point when my child feels that their “family day” is more of a funeral than a birthday party, we shall mark the day as they see fit. Or not mark it at all. Or call it something different. Or do something else to acknowledge their grief. These days mark a lot of change. And it’s not all win-win. There is way too much loss to make it simple, or to deny adoptees the right to choose how they wish to remember the significant days on the calendar. 

If you are reading this and struggle with the change, or feel frustrated with keeping up with PC language. Here are a few questions: If your child likes this phrase, might it be because they’ve never been given an option to think of this day differently? If you use this phrase, is your tradition more important than adoptees who have been hurt by this language? Is there an area of your life where you have felt frustrated by someone refusing to acknowledge your pain because they have never experienced it?

As parents by adoption, let’s press into adoptee driven education. Let’s not be quick to dismiss their experiences. When they share their thoughts, they risk great criticism and rejection, so let’s not let their vulnerability be in vain.